Magearth:

Once upon a time there was a little planet that looked just like earth and it was in orbit around a sun that looked like earth’s sun. In fact if you had looked at this little planet from a spaceship it would have looked just like earth and would seem to be in the very same universe. But the truth is that neither the planet or the universe were ours.

If you had landed on the planet you would soon have discovered this for yourself. For this planet had no smog, no polluted lakes, no cars, no trains, no airplanes, no wars, and no countries as we know them.

You would also have discovered that living side by side with man were all the magic creatures including elves , fairies, leprechauns , and ogres. All shared the ability to do magic. The best and most powerful magicians being the elves and humans being the worst. Well in truth ogres were below humans but only because they didn’t care about magic. As long as they had a big club and could bash in each other’s head they were happy.; This is not as bad as it sounds since, as everyone knows, an ogre’s brains  are in his feet so bashing in his head really doesn’t cause him any great problem. In fact female ogres were attracted to the males with the most smashed up heads.

Magearth ,as that was the name of the planet, might seem at first glance a wonderful place to live.  All you had to do was wave your hand and you had anything you wanted. If you  wanted a castle ! You had a castle. If you wanted a five course dinner served on the back of a white rhinoceros you had a five course dinner served on the back of a white rhinoceros. The only question is should the rhino be moving and you eat while walking or running alongside or should it be standing still and you could sit on a golden chair and eat. The choice was yours.

This , of course, meant there were no menial jobs on Magearth . There were no cooks, no street cleaners, no maids, no gravediggers, no assistants to the assistant, and definitely no sewer workers. By the waste disposal convention of 731 RT all waste including that created by bodily functions went immediately into the   disposal ring. This was a ring around Magearth like the rings around our Jupiter. Each year it grew a little bigger and a little darker. If you had sent one of those space probes to bring back a sample you would find it contained elf spit, fairy vomit, flying horse manure,  and things I can’t bring myself to tell you. But the planet was clean.

You may wonder why they didn’t just zap sewerage out of existence. Magearth was subject to certain magic laws just as our earth is subject to physical laws.